“Guys, it is imperative that you follow these security measures so that everything remains confidential,” said the facilities manager at the Avery Research Center.
Um, this is fucking tape. I guess some people take the technology behind the manufacturing of tape very seriously. Today, the first of July, me and three other students at the IEA program started our first day interning at the Avery Research Center in Pasadena, California. We arrived at the center, which was right next to the mountains. This was a beautiful view (making me feel completely shitty that I do not have a camera). Entering, we took our own ID pictures for temporary visitor passes. My picture made me look high. One guy’s picture made him look like a psychotic killer. The other girl’s picture involved her hair covering her entire face. Finally, little guy’s ID had him standing on his tip toes and tilting his head backwards.
We were escorted to a conference room, resulting in a terribly long speech about the greatness that is Avery, the company that makes adhesives, stickers, labels, and uh, wait, yes, I was trying to keep myself from falling asleep during the five presentations each fucking scientist had about CGMPs and what the fuck they are talking abouts. We were given a tour of the building before returning to the conference room to eat. Sandwiches! and soda, with caffeine! Everyone binged on the enamel eroding soda.
The facilities manager began his two hour lesson on being in the building. He made it very clear that anything we were working on was going to remain confidential. The company works by comparing one of its products to its competitor’s product, this being 3M. They run tests on the competitor’s product to scan for differences and potential patent infringement. The facilities manager then went on to discuss the security system in place. Basically, every door that opens locks as soon as it is unlocked with a scan of the ID card. Everytime you leave the building you have to scan out and then back in.
Then proceeded the safety movies that dated back to 1983. How did we know? I think the tight acid wash jeans on a ma not meant to wear them gave it away. Oh, and the techno for the background music. What did I learn? Well, I learned not to put my head under a fume hood. I am also not supposed to damage pressurized gas tanks or spill corrosive liquids all over myself.
Wow. How would I have ever known that?
Once that was complete, we had an hour to ourselves to hang out in the conference room.
I am not looking forward to working tomorrow in the lab. At all. Please. God. No. Fucking. No. Fuck. Even the facility I at which I will be working is so fucking anal retentive. Fuck.
Jose
